I just finished doing my HTML homework and now it is time to sit here and surf the web while listening to Iron Maiden.

At work last night I had a revelation. Many men (particularly those who work in the restaurant industry) spend an inordinate amount of time insulting their co-workers in an effort to make others laugh and essentially 'come out on top'. On Tuesdays I work with 'the girls', basically all the servers are women. Tuesdays are a very relaxing and enjoyable day because I don't have to tolerate a bunch of macho-agressive posturing---while the other male memebers of the staff try and convince each other that they are 'top dog'. What I mean by the previous statement is that I have begun to feel that men who stand around and consistently try and get the best of one another through verbal insults, are essentially acting out a modern day version of superiority within the 'pack'. As we are not wolves it is not acceptable to fight one another to see who is in fact the toughest male in the pack, instead this has been replaced with insults. Occassionally even dropping to the level of insulting one another's mothers, sexual prowess, sexuality etc... Now I don't mean to say that I do not particpate at all, but rather my comments are considerably less frequent and usually less insulting and more kidding/less hurtful. I know some of you are probably thinking that I am bitching about this because I cannot compete. The truth is that I can compete, but I learned a long time ago that trying to make someone else feel inferior is not a way to feel better about oneself it will only succeed in making someone else feel worse. I guess too many people have too much to prove. It's a shame that most of them never seem to realize it.

Oh yeah, I didn't want to mention it before she did, but Kim was laid off yesterday. I know that I am obviously partial but I truly think that her company made a really big mistake in keeping other editors over her. You can head on over to her blog to read about it.


Happy Birthday

'Paint A Vulgar Picture' will be 6 months old tomorrow. Happy Birthday to me (sort of anyway). I always figured I would get bored with it and stop writing but amazingly enough I am still as interested as ever. Considering my notoriously short attention span this really says something. Anyway I hope you have all enjoyed the last 6 months. Expect a re-design arriving sometime late this spring/early summer. I figure by that time I will have the know-how to really do this the way I want to do it.
The weather is beautiful here in Richmond, I don't want to do shit. Fortunately I really don't have anything to do except sit here and listen to James Brown--I will certainly try to 'make it funky' and maybe I will even 'take it to the bridge'.


Looks like the DVD edition of Zombie is going to be re-released (according to Amazon anyway). If you care enough, you can read all about it right here.


My motivation to study left town quite a while ago. I can't bring myself to go crazy studying for a class in which the teacher is consistently unprepared, and seems to get pissed when ayone asks a question. All I want is a C. It really is just like college the first time around.
I have a test tonight in my Photoshop class. I need to study today but due to the amazingly beautiful weather outside my window I am having a bit of a difficult time achieving this goal. I have to memorize the entire toolbar including the functions which I do not yet know how to use. Kind of strange--the teachers at community college seem to do weird shit like this. At least in this class the grades I receive don't really matter all that much, I still want to do as well as I possibly can of course.

Work pissed me the fuck off last night. Sometimes I get really sick of some of the people I work with--they want the world and don't seem to realize that I am just one person who is doing the best that he can. Good thing I killed them all. If anyone is interested in experiencing the unseasonably warm temperatures in Richmond and helping me bury some bodies, please feel free to swing on by. If you are nice to me, I will even let you pet the new cat. Speaking of the cats--they are slowly becoming friends and getting along much better than they were. That is my life right now. I am listening to Iggy Pop at the moment.


We watched the docummentary 'American Pimp' last night. I found the film to be quite educational. I learned how to 'turn a bitch out', how much of a cut to give the 'bitch'--the answer is she should get nothing, when you refer to your hos as 'bitch' this is a term of endearment similar to honey or dear in a normal relationship. Fellas you need to "turn dem bitches out', let them make your money while you sit back and watch some TV.


Not much going on today. The cats are doing well and are slowly becoming friends. I think that I am going to make a nice paella for dinner (it's a spanish rice based dish), which should be yummy. I have to bust out a bunch of HTML code today and study sojme Photoshop too--I have a test in my Photoshop class on Monday. I have actually completed all of the exercise in the Photoshop book twice so I know how to do all of the things that I am suppossed to know how to do, but now I need to go back and fill in a bunch of the specifics. I am currently downloading a Hexadecimal conversion program so I can complete my HTML homework. The download is complete--time to go.


I ain't got shit to say. Time to go study and stuff. Later.


Regan went to the vet this morning. She received a relatively clean bill of health--eveything is fine except she has an upper respiratory infection which appears to be getting better (no fever etc..). She is hiding under the bed and feeling traumatized overall, but unfortunately nothing could be done about it--she had to go to the doctor. The drive to the vet was really hard because she seemed to think that I was taking her back to the SPCA, once she realized that I wasn't giving her back she was OK though.

Work is cool. Time to go read my Photoshop book.


Everyone should be glad that I am spoken for because if you saw me right now in my White Lion 1988 Tour t-shirt and my Darth Maul boxers, you would want to attack me (sexually speaking that is).
Here is something I cannot fucking stand; this morning I had my HTML class and the class did not actually begin until 10 AM when it should have started at 9:30. This occurred because the teacher asked if anyone needed more time to finish the assignment that was given out last Thursday and was scheduled to be colected today, and some people said yes. Fuck that shit--it was HOMEWORK, that means to be done at home. I am paying for this class and it is not my fault that some of these idiots cannot even follow simple instructions and complete an easy webpage. I feel like I am being punished because they couldn't follow the books instructions at home. Granted this gave me time to check email etc... but that is not the reason that I am there. In addition now when the teacher says we can start work on our assignments, I leave right away and complete them at home. I am forced to do this because the 2 idiots who sit next to me ask me questions constantly and I spend the whole lab time answering their questions and not completeing my work. I cannot wait until Web Design II, at least there most of the people will probably be able to complete the assignments by themselves. I am done bitching now.


Robert (you may recognize his name from my comments section as well as ADDreviews and ADDmovies), has finally gooten himself a blog. You can go ahead and visit him right here. Welcome aboard man.

In other news the bout of insomnia continues and I am up early after going to bed at 2:30 AM--at least in the case of last night I was awake late working on a class project I have due tommorrow. The new cat is still doing well--she sat at my feet while I wrote a bunch of HTML code last night. That's a sign of a good cat. I am trying very hard to find a name for her that I like.


Yesterday Kim suggested that we head on over to the SPCA, this is always a bad sign--she walks in the door and wants to take all of them home immediately. We finally make it to the cat room, of course I made it there about 5 minutes before she did (she was busy in the puppy room), and started looking around. For 1 1/2 years we have been looking for another cat so Daiquiri can have some company. Amazingly enough we found one. She is 2 1/2 years old, declawed, spayed, has had all her shots, been dewormed, and received flea treatment--in other words she is all taken care of. Now we are going through the adjustment period. There is currently a ton of hissing, growling, lunging etc.. going on and the cats are angry at each other too. Just kidding, about Kim and I anyway. All this is to be expected and should run it's course within a month. It's really hard though because we are trying to make the new kitty (she doesn't have a name yet) feel comfortable and make it so Daiquiri doesn't feel like she is being replaced. This sounds much easier than it actually is. They just need to establish dominance etc... and then everything will even out. Both cats are friendly and pretty mellow so it should work out OK. Unfortunately with cats this is just kind of the way things go. The new kitty seems to understand that Daiquiri was here first and that she in the new kitty and is just going to be on the recieving and of some bullshit for a little while. Neither cat has reacted too terribly so it's no big deal--hopefully anyway, but you never can tell for sure.

In case anyone got rid of their copy of Nirvana's Nevermind like I did and wants to buy a new copy (or a first copy), Best Buy has it on sale for $9.99.


Weather.com says that the Richmond forecast for today involves steady rain. There is already 3/4 of an inch of snow on the ground and it appears to be snowing harder as time passes. Perhaps someone in Richmond should call the weather channel and let them know that their website is way wrong. Perhaps that person will be me--not really of course.


Barely slept again last night. Went to bed at 3, woke up at 5:30, back to be at 6, up at 8. I am pretty damn tired. To be perfectly honest I had a couple of drinks last night and that is a large part of the problem--I usually only have 1 but the bartender at work was making me Crown Royal and Ginger Ales after work and I couldn't say no. Oh well, nothing to do today but rest so I should be OK. Soon I will start with the caffeine and it will be 'All Good' as the kids say. Here is another phrase I do not generally use: 'You're money baby'. I finished that Gene Simmons book--it was good. I have to say though, that it really slowed down from the period begininning in 1981 and ending in 1996. Those 15 years were not terribly interesting--neither is this post for that matter.


Here's a great work story for you:

There is this woman who is a regular at the bar. She comes in at least a couple of times a week. She is on very strong anti-depressants and still drinks heavily. She arrived at the bar at 5 PM last night. She drank straight through until 10:30 when we closed, and was still there after we closed. Right after closing she apparently had to use the restroom. She stood up and began walking towards the ladies room and somewhere along the way there (about 1/4 of the way to be exact) she began vommitting. She vommitted the other 3/4 of the way, the vommit landing on the floor. She went in the restroom and came out after a few minutes. After she exited, as she was walking back to her barstool, she slipped in her own vommit and fell on her back, landing in you guessed it, her own puke. Regina the bartender had to go and help her up, of course now she was completely shitfaced and covered in vommit. She then sat down on the stool looked at her empty glass and said "Mary". No response (probably because no one is named Mary). Then she said "Mary!". Regina realized that at this moment her name had become Mary and she turned around. Our guest then pointed to her now empty wineglass and said something which sounded like "I'll have another"--she was unable to even point to the glass peffectively I may add. Regina was forced to tell her "I'm sorry,no more." She then got somewhat angy at the fact that she was being cut off. Finally she left and actually drove home as she refused to allow us to call a cab for her. Other events from her time in the bar included looking at Regina and asking "Do you know why this glass is good in Spanish?" Regina looked at her and said "Excuse me?" at which point the question was repeated. Only after of course the guest looked at Regina like she was crazy for not understanding the question the first time. Regina said that she didn't know and then the guest responded "Because it's full." Again looking at Regina like she was an idiot for not knowing such a simple answer. At other points apparently Regina would ask her a question and the woman would respond using a completely unrelated phrase from a conversation that was going on in her head at that moment.

The woman now is only allowed to be served 2 drinks (no more), and my boss is going to have a chat with her next time she comes in. While the whole thing is rather pitiful it is still amusing.

In class news I got a 100 on my quiz and a 100 on my first homework assignment. I hope that she starts giving out 'scratch and sniff' stickers soon. If not at least some stars.


The first "Heavy Metal" band I was ever really into was Twisted Sister. I still fucking love those guys. I got my first TS tape when I was 11 and I hadn't listened to them in a long time but I am spinning up Stay Hungry right now. Awesome.

Last night I stopped at the library on my way to work and I was lucky enough to locate the new Gene Simmons Autobiography. It is awesome. The most interesting fact I have learned so far is that he has had sex with over 4600 women. Holy shit. Although this is way more than just about any other guy in the world (even other rockstars) the guy in me couldn't help thinking these weren't ugly women either (not that it really matters of course). Well this is disgusting it is still respectable.

I was just forbidden access to the Internet by NETZERO. They said that I had already reached my limit for the month. I was not aware that there was a limit--10 hours to be exact. I had to sign up for their Platinum program ($9.95/month) or not have any internet access until February. I need to drop these sneaky fucks really fast. They can suck my ass. They are gonna get theirs. I am a Twisted Sister fan on a motherfucking mission. Here's my plan for Netzero I am gonna get Dee Snyder and Gene Simmons and we are gonna go down to their offices. Dee will entertain the crowd with renditions of songs from the Come Out And Play album while Gene keeps the female members of the staff 'occupied'. I will then get into their system and do....something.


Halfway through class today I realized that I think that my teacher is a lesbian. Don't know why, just a feeling. If anyone would like to drive over to J. Sarge to ask her, feel free. I only request that you abstain from utilizing my name during your conversation. Also in reference to the class I would like to take this oppurtunity to thank my professor for choosing an extremely easy to follow textbook. It goes slowly through each step while simultaneously being fairly concise. Perfect for this idiot and probably the rest of them too. The fact that some of these folks got through high school amazes me. In my Photoshop class last night this woman kept flipping out because she couldn't get the her elliptical tool working. She is probably in her late 40s and in addition probably shouldn't be taking the class--but what can you do. She was actually the one that asked the teacher to slow down, so I am grateful for that. For a while there was this dude sitting next to me last night who didn't know how to get to the Photoshop program from the desktop. He looked at me and said "You're gonna have to help me get to the program we're using." I helped him, but wanted to say in response: "I think what you meant to say was would you mind helping me open Photoshop. Considering I am not the teacher I don't have to help you do anything." Fortuately the mouse on that PC was messed up so he moved.
I had class last night and the teacher has agreed to slow the lessons down considerably, so that is really cool. Class today was good as well. I think I will go ahead and start working on my project for next Tuesday today. On Thursday we will be having a quiz in this class. The topic of the quiz will be------the contents of the course syllabus. I wish that they would cut the junior high crap. I realize that I have a degree already and most of the kids don't, but do we really need to be tested on the course outline?

I built a new shrine. Those who have known me since at least 1996 will remember the famed "Jesus Shrine", which also incorporated Elvis Presley. The new shrine incorporates Jesus, Mork (from Mork and Mindy fame), beads, various electric lights, candles, 80's toys and Simpsons characters. If I had a digital camera I would take a picture for you. It is right above my computer so I get to look at it all the time. Pretty cool huh? If you wish to see some pictures of the Jesus Shrine go to Corey's place and look at the picture on the wall. The main focus in that picture is the Blessed Mother. I really want a tattoo of the sacred heart of Jesus--should anyone want to buy me a gift certificate to Absolute Art Tattoo here in Richmond. One day I plan to incorpoirate Kim's name and the sacred heart on my chest. The only problem with tattoos is that they are so darn expensive.


Worked last night and it was cool. Class tonight. The best part is that I figured out that I don't need another job. The cost of living is so low in Richmond that I can afford to only work just over 20 hours a week and still survive--awesome. This really frees up my schedule for watching DVDs and listening to CDs. It's kind of like the best of both worlds--I work a small amount of time so I am not bored from sitting around (like when I was unemployed), but I have lots of free time too. Work is still awesome--how can you go wrong with the following perks: a free shift meal and a free shift drink. Pretty fucking cool I must say--not to mention that my tip shares are under the table and thus free from Uncle Sam's grubby little hands. I am getting hungry. I should probably go eat.


My Comments section is back up and tunning again which is very cool indeed. It's sunday morning and there weren't any porn-related emails in my box. This is most certainly a sign of the apocolypse--I usually have at least 3 porn emails waiting for me on Sunday morning. Yesterday I got one from stonerbabes.com----"Hot Stoned XXX Girls" ---classy indeed. I couldn't help myself so I clicked on the link and got ot their homepage which consisted of naked girls in a variety of sexual acts with digitally produced canibus leaves next to the girls. There were also pictures of paraphanelia and one of Snoop Dogg.

On Friday I finally picked up a copy of Lou Reed's Berlin which I have been wanting for months. It is excellent--as depressing and sickening as I had hoped. You gotta hand it to Lou Reed everytime you think he's bottomed out, he always seems to go a little bit lower. One thing that Lou Reed albums will teach you is don't ever try speed or heroin--you might end up writing lyrics like his. At first this might seem like a good thing but with further thought I am sure that you will realize how bad this truly is.


Remember a couple of weeks ago I called and cancelled my MSN Dial-Up account? Well before I did that actually 11days before Christmas I sent an email referencing my desire to cancel. I just got a response here it is:

Thank you for your recent email to MSN Member Support.

I’m Earlene and I am responding to your request for account cancellation.

I’m sorry to hear that you wish to end your account with us. Please let us know
immediately if there is anything we can do that may possibly make you reconsider
this decision...

In addition my email to them is dated 1/9/01. How the fuck did that happen? It appears as though one of their servers held back the email for almost a month. I want to write a letter back saying the following:


Check your records and you will find that the account has already been cancelled (perhaps you should have done this before responding to my email). This level of piss-poor service is the reason that I am no longer a customer. Thank you for your form letter and your half-hearted attempt to keep me as a customer. Your effort is slightly appreciated however a response within a normal period of time would have been appreciated even more. This experience has assured that I will never use MSN's Internet services again. One last thing perhaps you should consider sending one of your technicians down to your servers in an effort to figure out why the emails are being date-stamped improperly. Have a nice day and I hope that all is well with Mr. Gates. Even though I really don't like your internet services I really enjoy my copy of Windows M.E.




I work Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights. I get a free shift drink each night. I always opt for the 22 oz bottle of Legend Brown Ale (brewed here in Richmond--by my next-door neighbor no less, he works at the brewery). I am allowed to bring my drink home with me if I don't want to drink it there. I am drinking one of these right now. If you ever receive an email or read a post from me on one of these nights--assume I am half drunk--and yes I am a 'light-weight'. I hope that all of you are enjoying your evening. Most of you are probably asleep. I am going to go watch a movie.
Had class this morning and came right home and did my assignment which went off without too many problems. Feels good to be studying what I want to be studying. Actually enjoying homework is strange. Right as I finished my assignment my parents called and told me that they wanted to pay off my car for me. My pride kicked in and I said "no" emphatically. My Dad was then like "You have been paying on it for 4 1/2 years just let me do it." and I finally caved. At the end of the conversation all I could say was "thank you" which doesn't really seem to be enough when your parents do something like this. This takes a ton of pressure off of me financially. I still need another job but now for only 2 days a week as oppossed to 3. Big difference. Perhaps I can even save up enough by next fall that I willl only have to work 1 job and then I can take 3 classes instead of 2. The quicker I can start working in the field I want to work in the better.

Stephen email me with your adress so I can send you that menu.


I wrote this long post, got disconnected, and now it's gone. Shit. Now I don't feel like writing anything else. Fucking Netzero Motherfuckers.


I am feeling way overwhelmed. Between my current job and 2 classes and then the fact that I need to get another part-time job to pay my bills (The current gig doesn't really pay enough by itself.) I am fucking swamped. I feel like I am drowning. It will be cool once everything levels out, I already have a pretty good lead on another job (it's with the shoe store that I used to work at) so hopefully by next week I will be working there during the day. Then my schedule will look like this:

Monday: 9am-4pm work (Job 2) 5:30-8:10 class
Tuesday: 9:30am-10:45am class 5pm-11pm work
Wednesday: 9am-4pm work (Job 2) 5-11pm work
Thursday: 9:30am-10:45am class 5pm-11pm work
Friday: 9am-4pm work (Job 2)
Saturday: Off
Sunday: 5pm-11pm work

I have now officially been to both of my classes. My HTML class is awesome it should be very cool. The teacher is excellent and very understanding. The Photoshop class is going to be a bitch I think. The teacher goes super fast and is on the condescending side. Fortunately she will be following the book directly so I will just read up ahead of time. All I have to say is there are some true losers at commuity college. The worst part is that they all look at me like I am the loser, and they are cool. I am not saying that I am cool I am just saying that I feel as though I have a leg up on some of them. It is like high school all over again--I hope no Marilyn Manson fans shoot the place up.


Just walked into my Graphic Design 101 class. I am blogging from somewhere alse other than my apartment. I hope that all of you are excited. We got a bunch of fucking winners up in this motherfucker. Everyone is looking at me because I am the only one typing anything. More later. Class starts in 3 minutes. I had to pay $2 to park too. They don't have a parking lot for students. Bastards.
Classes start today. At 5:30 PM this evening I will attend my first class since 1997. I hope all the other kids like me and let me play kickball with them at recess. I know that I will be picked last but I will still harbor dreams of doing something to win the game for my team.

Not much else going on. For those of you who care I changed my hairstyle again. I am back to the 'Makaye-Robbins'. This is what any balding indie-rocker should call their haircut when they shave it. Another good name for the style could be the 'Lally-Von Bohlen'. I quickly discarded all the hair so none of the voodoo priests I know would be able to use the hair to cast a spell on me.


So when I bought my computer in December of 2000 I received one year of free MSN Internet Access. That year expired. I tried to cancel my mebership/account via email but received no response from the folks in their Customer Service Department. Yesterday I finally dug up the number to contact them and I called and cancelled. I have taken the extremely cheap and slightly annoying step of obtaining a new ISP, why did I say cheap? Because I chose NETZERO. Not only are they cheap but they are actually free. Now I have used their service before and it is kind of annoying but hey----it's free. At this point anything that saves me money is OK by me. The only really annoying thing is all the damn pop-up windows. I can deal with the fucking banner ads but every time I turn around I get a window asking me to join their "Platinum Service". While it is only 10 dollars a month--the service I currently have with them is completely fucking free. If I was going to pay for my provider I would certainly choose something a bit better.


So I called and told them that I would be unable to make it to work tonight. I explained to my boss that I had tried for a half an hour to get my car out of the parking lot and since the lot was not plowed I was unable to do so. It has stopped snowing for the moment but is expected to start up again. In addition all of the Richmond websites are advising people to travel only if 'absolutely necessary' and with 'extreme caution'. My boss honestly seemed a bit pissed at first but finally said "Well, if you have no way to get here, then you have no way to get here." I apologized a bunch of times and stressed the fact that I couldn't get my car out but that I certainly made a valiant effort. I am a liar, I know. I just don't see the point in driving that distance so I can more than likely get sent home early due to lack of business. I guess I am going to hell now. I expect that I will be seeing at least a few of you there. What a wonderful reunion it will be.
Well it is still snowing. I think that I am going to call my job later on and tell them that I can't make it due to the snow. I have 6 payments left on my car, and I'll be damned if I am going to risk totalling the vehicle, and my own safety to drive 15 miles in a fucking blizzard. I do not get paid nearly enough for that. In addition I know that as of last night we only had 4 reservations for tonight and I am sure that most (if not all) of those people are going to cancel. I would much rather stay at home and be safe then drive out there only to stand around doing nothing and get sent home early. Fuck that. I need the cash but I also know that it would be just my luck to wreck my car with $1200 left to pay. Call me overcautious if you want but then I will tell you about the 100 accidents there were in the Richmond area during this morning's rush hour. I told you Richmonders can't drive.
It is snowing here in Richmond. All I can say is that I hope that my restaurant closes as a result. I really don't feel like driving 15 miles to work in the snow. Driving this distance in a large amount of snow would not be bad at all if I was driving alongside individuals who had any clue whatsoever how to drive in such conditions. Unfortunately no one in Richmond seems to have any clue how to cope when snow starts falling. The worst part is that this is the most snow that I have seen since moving to Richmopnd so I am sure that it will be that much worse. The other thing I just realized is that I do not even have a shovel. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. We have off street parking which translates to an empty dirt patch located off the alley which conveniently runs behind our building. I think that my Honda Civic Hatchback is probably going to have a difficult time navigating through the alley and the lot. If I have to make an attempt I will but I can't say that I feel very good about it. Looks like it started snowing harder.


Tonight I will be returmimg to work. Isn't that exciting? Not really. About 10 days ago my boss gave me some materials to look over (menu descriptions etc..) I just started looking them over. As usual I will be extremely prepared. I am sure that the restaurant will be slow so we will have plenty of time to go over said information. In the restaurant industry we have entered the post holiday slump. All servers are thinking about the money that they won't be making, and all kitchen staff workers are excited that they have less work to do but are still getting paid the same amount. I am somewhere in the middle. I get tip share (which is based on the restaurant's sales) but I also get a descent hourly wage.

Still combatting the sinus infection. Hopefully I will win, and thus not have to go to the doctor. Not to jinx myself but I am pretty sure that I am ahead.

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz


From a stomach bug directly into the beginnings of a sinus infection. What a great way to start a new year. I just finished reading Requiem For A Dream whcih I got for Christmas, if anyone is interested I definitely recommend checking it out. It's really good. That is all I have to say today.