I broke one of the earpieces off of my glasses last night and as a result I cannot wear them until I get them fixed later today. I hope that they can actually just replace the earpieces without getting completely new frames. Fortunately the design of the broken piece is pretty standard so while I realize that I won't be able to get the same ones I am hoping that they will have ones that are similar. I really do not want to drop the cash on a new pair of glasses right now. I can't believe I broke the fucking thing. I bought them at Wal-Mart's Vision Center 4 years ago so I figure I can at the very least scream and yell that the glasses were defective and probably obtain a partial refund--I'm kidding of course but it would probably work. One of the best things about Wal-Mart is their overwhelming desire for customer satisfaction, hopefully they will be able to help me out. If not I intend to start a vicious rumor about Sam Walton. Here are the front-runners:
**Sam Walton was a close personal friend of Osama Bin Laden. Bin Laden has even been known to make use of a Parker Brothers Ouija Board in an attempt to make contact with his deceased friend. Rumor has it that it is in fact Sam Walton who personally selected the cave that Bin Laden has been hiding in and is also advising him daily on how to avoid those dirty capitalist Americans. (Oh the irony.)
**Sam Walton was a bestiality enthusiast. He once went on safari in Africa because he felt he really had to get a piece of that "zebra-tail" he had been hearing so much about. In the back of every Wal-Mart there is a "petting zoo", all you need to gain access to "Sam's Choice Little Pen of Fun" is to know the correct password. The password is actually a reference to Sam's first homosexual experience. For those of you who need to know the password it is: "Rupert the large lifeguard."
**Sam Walton ran a famous Las Vegas style Brothel in southern Idaho. This house of ill repute was frequented by Wal-Mart shoppers throughout the mid-west. Featured at this brothel were prostitutes of all shapes, sizes, races, ages, creeds etc... It is a little known fact that Sam even put his own Grandmother to work at "Sam's Choice" (this is the actual origin of the Wal-Mart brand name). He had Grandma Josephine billed as "The Deep Throat Granny", and it is said that truckers from around the country would drive hundreds of miles out of their way to experience her "denture-free love".
You better help me Wal-Mart or I will start spreading these rumors like wild.
**Please feel free to utilize the comments section to vote for your favorite rumor.**
**Sam Walton was a close personal friend of Osama Bin Laden. Bin Laden has even been known to make use of a Parker Brothers Ouija Board in an attempt to make contact with his deceased friend. Rumor has it that it is in fact Sam Walton who personally selected the cave that Bin Laden has been hiding in and is also advising him daily on how to avoid those dirty capitalist Americans. (Oh the irony.)
**Sam Walton was a bestiality enthusiast. He once went on safari in Africa because he felt he really had to get a piece of that "zebra-tail" he had been hearing so much about. In the back of every Wal-Mart there is a "petting zoo", all you need to gain access to "Sam's Choice Little Pen of Fun" is to know the correct password. The password is actually a reference to Sam's first homosexual experience. For those of you who need to know the password it is: "Rupert the large lifeguard."
**Sam Walton ran a famous Las Vegas style Brothel in southern Idaho. This house of ill repute was frequented by Wal-Mart shoppers throughout the mid-west. Featured at this brothel were prostitutes of all shapes, sizes, races, ages, creeds etc... It is a little known fact that Sam even put his own Grandmother to work at "Sam's Choice" (this is the actual origin of the Wal-Mart brand name). He had Grandma Josephine billed as "The Deep Throat Granny", and it is said that truckers from around the country would drive hundreds of miles out of their way to experience her "denture-free love".
You better help me Wal-Mart or I will start spreading these rumors like wild.
**Please feel free to utilize the comments section to vote for your favorite rumor.**
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