My glasses finally showed up today and I picked them up. Pretty cool. I also got an email from the “House by the Cemetary” dude and he had to say the following: “payment received and item shipped on 11/24”. Well thank God that he is not verbose. I honestly think that the guy is pissed that his DVD went for so cheap. I guess he should have set a reserve. Sucker.
I have also decided that I really need to vastly decrease the amount of contact that I have with my parents. I realize that my Father was shitty when I was younger but is pretty cool now, and now my Mother has become a control freak. No matter what I do it is not good enough and they never seem to be proud of me regardless of what I do. Before you say “Oh Scott I’m sure that they are proud of you.” I would like to state that my Father actually told me a couple of years ago that he was in fact not proud of me. It is hard to have lived 26 years and feel that I always tried to live up to their expectations and have failed. I can say that I have officially had it with them. They can be proud of me or they can be ashamed of me—I don’t care. I have lived long enough trying to “make them proud” and I can’t. I can’t not because I am a failure but because their old-fashioned expectations are at a level that I cannot possibly live up to. I guess I am just really happy that Kim’s parents treat me the way that I always wish that my parents would have. At least I have cool “parents” in that respect. I have spent years battling extreme depression, which has been brought on mostly by the way people close to me have treated me. This is a fucked up way to live and I’ve had it. I live for me now. If anyone has anything negative to say about me then let them say it but I am fucking content. I may be unemployed but that means fuck-all. I’d rather be unemployed than in some job I can’t stand just because my parents think that would be good. You know what Mom and Dad I am happy. You raised a kid who is now a man and you need to realize that I am an adult and you can’t micro-manage my life anymore. From now on if someone doesn’t like what I am doing---but I can honestly say that I am cool with it—they can kiss my ass.
I have a job interview tomorrow---another Insurance Claims Adjuster position. Sounds promising in so much as I am qualified and the interview is with a head-hunter so it will be easier to get through that. Funny how even though my Mother was kind of down on my work history earlier today, without the jobs I have worked in the past I would not be qualified for this position. They actually want retail/restaurant management experience—and 2 years of it no-less. Maybe it was all for a reason. Maybe not, but I am sick of looking back and thinking I fucked up. I am not happy with all of the decisions I have made but nobody is happy with all of their decisions. I did what I did and I am moving on from here. The past is over and living in it has gotten me nowhere. The past 26 years have been for other people. With a little luck I’ve got another 50 years or more ahead of me. I’m going to live those for me.
I have also decided that I really need to vastly decrease the amount of contact that I have with my parents. I realize that my Father was shitty when I was younger but is pretty cool now, and now my Mother has become a control freak. No matter what I do it is not good enough and they never seem to be proud of me regardless of what I do. Before you say “Oh Scott I’m sure that they are proud of you.” I would like to state that my Father actually told me a couple of years ago that he was in fact not proud of me. It is hard to have lived 26 years and feel that I always tried to live up to their expectations and have failed. I can say that I have officially had it with them. They can be proud of me or they can be ashamed of me—I don’t care. I have lived long enough trying to “make them proud” and I can’t. I can’t not because I am a failure but because their old-fashioned expectations are at a level that I cannot possibly live up to. I guess I am just really happy that Kim’s parents treat me the way that I always wish that my parents would have. At least I have cool “parents” in that respect. I have spent years battling extreme depression, which has been brought on mostly by the way people close to me have treated me. This is a fucked up way to live and I’ve had it. I live for me now. If anyone has anything negative to say about me then let them say it but I am fucking content. I may be unemployed but that means fuck-all. I’d rather be unemployed than in some job I can’t stand just because my parents think that would be good. You know what Mom and Dad I am happy. You raised a kid who is now a man and you need to realize that I am an adult and you can’t micro-manage my life anymore. From now on if someone doesn’t like what I am doing---but I can honestly say that I am cool with it—they can kiss my ass.
I have a job interview tomorrow---another Insurance Claims Adjuster position. Sounds promising in so much as I am qualified and the interview is with a head-hunter so it will be easier to get through that. Funny how even though my Mother was kind of down on my work history earlier today, without the jobs I have worked in the past I would not be qualified for this position. They actually want retail/restaurant management experience—and 2 years of it no-less. Maybe it was all for a reason. Maybe not, but I am sick of looking back and thinking I fucked up. I am not happy with all of the decisions I have made but nobody is happy with all of their decisions. I did what I did and I am moving on from here. The past is over and living in it has gotten me nowhere. The past 26 years have been for other people. With a little luck I’ve got another 50 years or more ahead of me. I’m going to live those for me.
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