Kristy, otherwise known as Mrs ego inc. just informed me that what I read in the MWC magazine was incorrect. They printed the wrong last name for the Drew that is marrying the girl. Thank God! I thought that it was too bizarre to be true, but I made the cardinal mistake of believing what I read. It really sucks to be the Drew that I thought was marrying her right now, because his name is printed as being her fiance--which is a bad thing. That is a major mistake on the part of the alumni magazine. Would someone please do me a favor and leak some false information about me to the alumni magazine? Here is a suggestion for an email to write them:

"In the wake of September 11th Scott "Opie" W*** joined the Marines in an effort to help save his country from the dirty terrorists. While surprisingly making it through basic training, he was discovered in early 2000 somewhere in Afghanistan. He had gone AWOL and was found to be living as a woman. When located he was wearing a pink mini-skirt and living as part of Shiek Abdul Muhammad's harem. He ws immediately taken to Fort Leavenworth, and charged with abandonning his post. While in Leavenworth, he has made many new friends and his dance-card is reportedly always full. His services can be purchased for a carton of Lucky Strike's.

When reached for comment, Shiek Muhammad said that he looks forward to his 'favorite little strawberry' returning to him upon her release. The shiek added that the first stop for Scott will be in Sweden where he will undergo sexual reassignment surgery.

We recently received a letter from Scott expressing his desire to let everyone know that he is extremely happy, despite his unfortunate incarceration, and hopes that some of his friends from college will be able to attend the July 2006 wedding in Istanbul. Scott, or Sherise as he would like to be called, will become the shiek's 35th wife. While the event is still early in the planning stages, the lucky bride and groom are discussing a Finding Nemo theme."

Mark you calenders.