9.26.2001

Do I look like a "Kent" to you?

I walked over to Blockbuster to return Memento and rent some movies. I rented Blood Simple and Joe Dirt. I am walking home in a good mood, looking forward to watching David Spade made a jackass out of himself and notice the mailman is in my building. Cool I think. He is walking out the door as I am walking in and we exchange pleasantries. I pick up the mail and walk upstairs.

There is a letter from The Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles by way of DC. Strange I think. On August 13th I got a parking ticket in Georgetown for parking facing the wrong way in a parking spot near the canal. I am guilty, though I disagree with the policy, and write a check and mail it. Case closed- I think. Well the letter is actually from DC, and says that I now owe $40. $20 for the parking ticket and a $20 penalty, the letter is dated 9/21. I turn on my computer and find out that the check cleared my bank on 9/11-it was due on 9/13. I am cool in terms of liability for the added penalty but pissed since I am in the right. I call the number on the letter and finally get a Customer Service agent on the phone who proceeds to treat me like absolute shit. When I interrupt her to state my case she counters with “Are you going to let me finish?!!!!” I was about to fucking lose it but kept in control. I ask is there anything else that they can do in their office. She says no. I have to get a copy of the cancelled check and send it in with the letter. They will then respond to me by mail (i.e. don’t call back). Her office is “just a customer service call center”. Funny I thought “Customer Service” meant providing service not attitude. This is really fucked up I think as I leave to go to the bank to request a copy of the cancelled check. Get to the bank and find out it will cost me $5 for the cancelled check. Now I have paid the ticket, I have paid to call the toll charge to call the “Customer Service” number, and am now paying to get a copy of the cancelled check.

As an added bonus, they have already turned me into the state of VA, I have to be careful as I can technically be arrested for my outstanding parking ticket in DC, which has already been paid. Can any company or government office get anything right? Some advice to everyone---keep records of everything, you will probably need them eventually. I fucking hated living near DC and boy do I hate that fucking town right now.

Check this out: I was home 30 seconds when there was a knock at the door. I open the door and it is a cop. I had not yet read the letter or I would have been frightened. He was looking for the previous tennant, I think he had a summons. I explained that he no longer lived there etc... The cop was really nice to me once he realized I was not Kent Graham. I should have looked at him and said:"DO I LOOK LIKE A KENT TO YOU?!!!!!!!!!!!"

I am going to go shower now. Perhaps I will apply my astounding variety of creams and ointments as a way of making myself feel better. I will then put on my makeup, some lingerie and I will sit on the couch eating vegan bon-bons while wearing my kimono.

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