Here's the letter I worte to the headhunter. I think that it is fairly self-explanatory.

Mr. K*lly,

Thank you for offering to reschedule the phone interview. However, I do not wish to do so. To be frank, your company has left me with a very negative impression. To begin with, after I sent in my application, it was not acknowledged for nearly four weeks, although the application only was mailed from Richmond to Charlottesville. When it was acknowledged that your company had received the application, it was in the form of a letter stating that the company had not received a signed ST@ contract. This is not true. I have a photocopy of the signed contract that was in the envelope. I have heard nothing else about the signed contract.

Next, I received an email from you to schedule the interview, which we did, but something came up on your end. Unfortunately, I had made plans to call you from a location other than my home, and was inconvenienced by the cancellation on such short notice. Also, when I called to speak with you, the secretary made reference to everyone leaving early for a graduation party. I sincerely hope this was not the reason the interview was cancelled.

Today I received an email telling me that my application is incomplete. But since we were continuing with the interview process, the application must have been complete. Why did I receive that email? It is for these reasons that I do not wish to continue the application process. I do not wish to align myself with an organization that consistently makes mistakes and acts in an unprofessional manner.

As our relationship is being discontinued, please return my application packet, transcripts, test scores and all letters of reference to me via USPS. Since it does not indicate on your website or on the application that these are your property, I do not anticipate a problem. Please send these items to the address you have on file.

Sincerely,
Sc*tt D. W!se

I love telling someone to f*ck off without saying "f*ck off."