Beware: this is a very long post (but worth the read).
Last week I thought it would be really clever to title my post "Back From The Motherfucking Dead", but I see now that it really wasn't all that clever or amusing. This is an official retraction of that heading. Why would I post this retraction you ask? Because death really isn't funny. Here's what happened:
I went to work on Wednesday September 4th and felt a little strange, but as I often don't feel well, I ignored it. This was my first mistake. After being at work for about an hour I began to feel extremely nauseated and had a sharp pain in the vicinity of my hernia. I realized that the dreaded strangulation was upon me. When a hernia 'strangulates' part of the intestine becomes caught in the abdominal wall and you end up with an intestinal blockage. The blood flow is cut off, as is the flow of other things that usually travel through your intestines. The pain was fucking ridiculous. I had Kim pick me up and take me to the emergency room where they un-strangulated me using an extremely simple (though very painful) massage technique. They told me to call my surgeon and see if we should move up the surgery. Everything seemed fine that night and for the early part of the next day. I called the surgeon's office first thing in the morning and they told me that it probably wouldn't happen again and that we could leave the surgery scheduled for the 3rd of October. At about 2 in the afternoon it happened again. I now was aware of how to put my intestine back in, and proceeded to do so myself. I called the doctor back and said that we definitely needed to move the surgery up.
Now what I haven't mentioned is that I was supposed to be out of town (on vacation and attending 2 weddings) from 9/6-9/16. There went the vacation. I spent the next 2 days arguing with the doctor's office trying to get the surgery moved up ASAP. On Friday afternoon (9/6) they finally told me that the surgery would probably be on Monday 9/9. By this time, my abdominal wall was essentially useless and my intestines were popping through the hole in the wall on average of 15 times a day. No exaggeration. It went like this: intestines pop out-I put them back in. I stand up-it pops out again. You get the idea. The nurse said that even though this was going on, since I could still put the intestine back in it did not constitute an emergency and the surgery would still be on Monday, hopefully. They could not get an Operating room during the day so they eventually had to request my surgery be done as an add-on. This means that it would be done after 6 PM. The nurse told me to go buy a truss in the interim and that it should help. I went and bought one, which of course did nothing.
Fast forward to 5PM Friday. The surgeon's office calls and says that my insurance will not pre-authorize the surgery. The surgeon’s receptionist then proceeds to tell me that the reason they will not do so is because the insurance company is conducting an investigation. She says she has no other information and I need to call the insurance company directly. I call and am told that they are going to deny all claims related to my hernia surgery since it is a ‘Pre-existing Condition’. I tell them that it most certainly is not; I discovered the lump/hernia on 8/3 and went to the doctor for it on 8/9. As my insurance was effective beginning 8/1 I do not see the problem. The insurance company tells me that the first doctor I saw for the condition put in his computer that the symptoms existed for several months as opposed to several days. Then they tell me that in order to fix the situation, I need to start by talking to the doctor’s office. The doctor can amend their records and fax them directly to the insurance company’s medical review department. It is now 5:30 on Friday night. Fortunately the first doctor’s office was actually a First-Med type establishment and was still open. I quickly tried to call them but could not make it past their voice-mail, so I limped down the stairs and drove over there. Surprisingly enough, they were extremely helpful. They amended the records and faxed them over to the insurance company for me. By this time it is almost 6 PM. I called the insurance company back who told me that the Medical Review Dept. had already left for the day, and only they can make the decision about whether or not to cover the surgery.
I proceed to spend the next two days worrying about whether my insurance will cover the surgery, and putting my own intestine back where it is supposed to be. Monday morning rolls around and I call the insurance company. They tell me that I do not need to have pre-authorization for the surgery and that the amended records have been received but they have not reached a decision yet. The surgery will be happening in just less than 9 hours.
I check into the hospital at 4:30 PM and proceed to wait until the operating room is available. The surgery does not begin until after 8 PM. I wake up in the recovery room sometime after 10 PM. I am so nauseated I cannot even move. Turns out I was allergic to the anesthesia. They give me some medicine for the nausea and dizziness, but I can still only put on 1 article of clothing every 20 minutes and then only with Kim’s help. It is 11:45 PM when I am finally discharged. I am in great pain and still have to go to the pharmacy for my pain medicine. They tell me they are giving me a prescription for Demerol. I am just coherent enough to recognize that this is a very powerful drug and I eagerly anticipate the relief it will surely bring.
I spend the next 36 hours taking the Demerol every 4 hours or so and feeling utterly horrible. At about 12 PM on Wednesday 9/11 my throat feels as though it is closing. I can barely breath, my limbs are tingling, I am dizzy and can barely stand. Kim has to rush me to the emergency room. Turns out that I am violently allergic to the Demerol, and this is the reason I have been feeling so bad. Of course they run a bunch of tests at the hospital and hook me up to numerous machines all as precautionary measures to make sure there is not a larger problem. Fortunately it is just the Demerol. They give me Dilaudid instead. On Thursday I get a letter stating that the insurance company will cover the procedure, which makes me extremely happy. Of course when you are taking Dilaudid (an extremely powerful narcotic—think of it as very potent pharmaceutical heroin) it is hard not to be happy.
Since then I have been on the mend and have gotten better each day. Today I haven’t taken any medicine and almost feel normal. I hope that things have been going well for all of you out there. Sorry the post is so long I made it as short as I could while still including all of the information and events. These are the reasons I retract the title of my last post. Just thought I would let ye'll know hat's been going on.
Last week I thought it would be really clever to title my post "Back From The Motherfucking Dead", but I see now that it really wasn't all that clever or amusing. This is an official retraction of that heading. Why would I post this retraction you ask? Because death really isn't funny. Here's what happened:
I went to work on Wednesday September 4th and felt a little strange, but as I often don't feel well, I ignored it. This was my first mistake. After being at work for about an hour I began to feel extremely nauseated and had a sharp pain in the vicinity of my hernia. I realized that the dreaded strangulation was upon me. When a hernia 'strangulates' part of the intestine becomes caught in the abdominal wall and you end up with an intestinal blockage. The blood flow is cut off, as is the flow of other things that usually travel through your intestines. The pain was fucking ridiculous. I had Kim pick me up and take me to the emergency room where they un-strangulated me using an extremely simple (though very painful) massage technique. They told me to call my surgeon and see if we should move up the surgery. Everything seemed fine that night and for the early part of the next day. I called the surgeon's office first thing in the morning and they told me that it probably wouldn't happen again and that we could leave the surgery scheduled for the 3rd of October. At about 2 in the afternoon it happened again. I now was aware of how to put my intestine back in, and proceeded to do so myself. I called the doctor back and said that we definitely needed to move the surgery up.
Now what I haven't mentioned is that I was supposed to be out of town (on vacation and attending 2 weddings) from 9/6-9/16. There went the vacation. I spent the next 2 days arguing with the doctor's office trying to get the surgery moved up ASAP. On Friday afternoon (9/6) they finally told me that the surgery would probably be on Monday 9/9. By this time, my abdominal wall was essentially useless and my intestines were popping through the hole in the wall on average of 15 times a day. No exaggeration. It went like this: intestines pop out-I put them back in. I stand up-it pops out again. You get the idea. The nurse said that even though this was going on, since I could still put the intestine back in it did not constitute an emergency and the surgery would still be on Monday, hopefully. They could not get an Operating room during the day so they eventually had to request my surgery be done as an add-on. This means that it would be done after 6 PM. The nurse told me to go buy a truss in the interim and that it should help. I went and bought one, which of course did nothing.
Fast forward to 5PM Friday. The surgeon's office calls and says that my insurance will not pre-authorize the surgery. The surgeon’s receptionist then proceeds to tell me that the reason they will not do so is because the insurance company is conducting an investigation. She says she has no other information and I need to call the insurance company directly. I call and am told that they are going to deny all claims related to my hernia surgery since it is a ‘Pre-existing Condition’. I tell them that it most certainly is not; I discovered the lump/hernia on 8/3 and went to the doctor for it on 8/9. As my insurance was effective beginning 8/1 I do not see the problem. The insurance company tells me that the first doctor I saw for the condition put in his computer that the symptoms existed for several months as opposed to several days. Then they tell me that in order to fix the situation, I need to start by talking to the doctor’s office. The doctor can amend their records and fax them directly to the insurance company’s medical review department. It is now 5:30 on Friday night. Fortunately the first doctor’s office was actually a First-Med type establishment and was still open. I quickly tried to call them but could not make it past their voice-mail, so I limped down the stairs and drove over there. Surprisingly enough, they were extremely helpful. They amended the records and faxed them over to the insurance company for me. By this time it is almost 6 PM. I called the insurance company back who told me that the Medical Review Dept. had already left for the day, and only they can make the decision about whether or not to cover the surgery.
I proceed to spend the next two days worrying about whether my insurance will cover the surgery, and putting my own intestine back where it is supposed to be. Monday morning rolls around and I call the insurance company. They tell me that I do not need to have pre-authorization for the surgery and that the amended records have been received but they have not reached a decision yet. The surgery will be happening in just less than 9 hours.
I check into the hospital at 4:30 PM and proceed to wait until the operating room is available. The surgery does not begin until after 8 PM. I wake up in the recovery room sometime after 10 PM. I am so nauseated I cannot even move. Turns out I was allergic to the anesthesia. They give me some medicine for the nausea and dizziness, but I can still only put on 1 article of clothing every 20 minutes and then only with Kim’s help. It is 11:45 PM when I am finally discharged. I am in great pain and still have to go to the pharmacy for my pain medicine. They tell me they are giving me a prescription for Demerol. I am just coherent enough to recognize that this is a very powerful drug and I eagerly anticipate the relief it will surely bring.
I spend the next 36 hours taking the Demerol every 4 hours or so and feeling utterly horrible. At about 12 PM on Wednesday 9/11 my throat feels as though it is closing. I can barely breath, my limbs are tingling, I am dizzy and can barely stand. Kim has to rush me to the emergency room. Turns out that I am violently allergic to the Demerol, and this is the reason I have been feeling so bad. Of course they run a bunch of tests at the hospital and hook me up to numerous machines all as precautionary measures to make sure there is not a larger problem. Fortunately it is just the Demerol. They give me Dilaudid instead. On Thursday I get a letter stating that the insurance company will cover the procedure, which makes me extremely happy. Of course when you are taking Dilaudid (an extremely powerful narcotic—think of it as very potent pharmaceutical heroin) it is hard not to be happy.
Since then I have been on the mend and have gotten better each day. Today I haven’t taken any medicine and almost feel normal. I hope that things have been going well for all of you out there. Sorry the post is so long I made it as short as I could while still including all of the information and events. These are the reasons I retract the title of my last post. Just thought I would let ye'll know hat's been going on.
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