**Caution: This Post May be Offensive to Some Readers.
**You Have Been Warned so don't post any negative comments.

Halloween is probably my favorite “holiday” and not just because it is my birthday either. No other holiday is surrounded by so many wonderful images of death and fright. I sincerely hope that this will change over time. I think that Tim Burton had some great ideas in “The Nightmare Before Christmas” regarding how to turn Christmas into a frightening holiday. Regarding Thanksgiving, most vegetarians/vegans already find this to be a frightening holiday. Here in Richmond folks actually get upset that there is no place to hunt “Wild Turkey”, except of course the variety that comes in a bottle.

Then again in New York where I grew up, liquor was not state controlled and you could actually purchase beverages of this variety from various “Liquor Stores”. The amazing thing about this is that different stores have different prices, thus you can actually save money. What a concept. Here in Virginia the prices are the same throughout the entire state regardless of wealth per capita. Is it really fair to charge the same liquor prices in Northern Virginia, as in Roanoke? Kind of strange. The state of Virginia is a bit backward as far as I am concerned that it is why we are going to change all that. We are going to be the first state to add a frightening aspect to each holiday.

Think of the wonderful fear inducing images that can be thought of for Easter alone. I am a big fan of honesty and I find that a bunny in no way brings across the true reason/meaning behind Easter. Easter is about Jesus Christ (the son of God) being crucified and then risen from the dead on Easter Sunday. Why not get rid of all the “Easter Baskets” and replace them with “Crucifixion Containers”? Each C.C. can be filled with the kind of treats that the kids really want----more images of death and destruction. Perhaps each C.C. could come equipped with a live action playset of Sodom and Gamorrah as it burned to the ground, or even better certain C.C.’s could contain only water to represent the floods that were unleashed on the earth, floating in the water could be a little paper boat in place of Noah’s Ark. What a great idea. Think of all the money to be made off a good old-fashioned change in holidays. What if instead of presents Santa who of course would have to undergo a major change in image, gave out weapons? Lets face it, all little boys want guns. It’s much easier to play G.I. Joe or even Pokemon when there is really something at stake. Unfortunately Christmas just isn’t dangerous enough. On Halloween you might get egged, sprayed with shaving cream, hit with a flour sock, or in rougher neighborhoods a sock full of quarters. These are fine for Halloween activities, but what if your child was able to inflict revenge upon little Bobby down the street who sprayed him in the face with shaving cream on Halloween. Its just 2 months away. Change Christmas to “Vindication Day”. You would get to complete acts of vengeance on December 25th just like God used to. Act out your own flood etc… Find out where your boss lives and set his shrubbery on fire. Hook up a microphone and speak to him as God spoke to Job. Tell him that he should give you a raise and not make you go to work anymore. Tell him if he doesn’t your wrath with fall upon him. Fun for the entire family. Watch as little Susie giggles with glee when you set her second grade teacher’s house on fire, because of the way she treated you at that Parent/Teacher conference. Better yet really give Susie a treat and let her throw that Molotov cocktail you’ve been saving at Mrs. Smith’s brand new SUV. What we need are more images or death and destruction coupled with an ever-building sense of fear. Halloween has some of this but not quite enough. Enjoy your day.